September, 1997 Updated, November 22, 2005
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Sept. 3 Sept. 6 Sept. 7 Sept. 9 Sept. 12 Sept. 20 Sept. 23 Sept. 25 Sept. 27 Sept. 28 Sept. 29
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(August 30, 1997)
I took off and went to the store to get food for the campout. $80 later I had enough food to feed the whole campground. What was I thinking? Brats, Turkey Burgers, Chicken Breasts, two bags of chips, two bags of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, four yogurts, two 12 packs of pop, a 12 pak of beer, a 6-pak of bottled beer... can you not SEE the numbers adding up right in front of you? I was only going to be gone for two nights! Oh well, at least I wasn't going to starve. :)
About 1/2 way up to the Dells, I realized that I had forgotten an air mattress. I am not the type that sleeps well on the hard solid ground, so I stopped off at a Wal-Mart, ran in and bought a new one-- the third one I've bought now! I wonder what I'll ever use all of these air mattresses for???
I finally arrived at the campground 3 1/2 hours after I left. It wasn't too bad of a trip, but it sure rained a lot. I was worried that the campground would be all sloppy and wet, but as I neared the town where the campground was, I noticed that it was fairly dry. I set my tent up, grabbed a beer, and started to relax. Ahhhhh! :)
My friend Dave was there with a guy named Derek. He was cute, about 20 or so... Dave has a thing for younger guys (he's 27) and who can blame him? Dave is pretty cute, about 5'9", 175 lbs., blue eyes, lt brown hair... and he attracts these young guys all the time. He makes us all jealous :)
Joining Dave, Derek and I were my friends Gregg and Ben who have been together for nearly 4 years, their lesbian friends Norma and Jamie, Another guy named Jeff, who is a good friend of Dave's and mine, and finally Jay and his friend Brian. It was a nice, small group, and we had a decent site, right by the bathroom (which is a blessing, believe me) but in a nice location, kind of set off from everyone else. The campground was cute, owned by a Bavarian family who Dave knew while growing up. They had a Polka party on Saturday night- could that not be any more Wisconsin?? :)
Saturday night was tame, except for occasional moans and groans from some of the "couple's" tents. :)
(August 31, 1997)
The next day Jay and Brian left as everyone else made their way to the Wisconsin Dells to do various "Touristy" things. Dave, Derek, Jeff and I rode a "Original Wisconsin Duck". To describe, a Duck is a vehicle that was created in the 40's for World War II. It's an amphibious machine, meaning it operates both on land and on water. It travels on the Wisconsin River and can also drive around on land. It's pretty ingenious, and a great tourist trap! ;)When we got back to the campground, we found out that another friend, Steve, would be arriving in a little while. Steve had gone camping with us in Michigan numerous times. When Steve arrived about an hour later, he said, "So have you guys been living in a vacuum, or have you heard that Princess Diana died?"
We thought he was joking. Steve tends to joke a lot, and a lot of times we don't know whether to take him seriously or not. We laughed and said "Yeah right,"
"No, I'm serious, she's dead," Steve said, and told us about how the paparazzi were chasing her and the car crashed in a tunnel in France. We still didn't believe him, and he finally gave up trying to convince us.
I, however, was disturbed just enough by what he said that I had to check it out. I snuck out of the campsite and went up to the grocery building and called my parents. My sister answered the phone. The first thing she asked was, "Have you been hearing any news?"
I knew what was next. "No," I answered. What's up?
"Princess Diana Died. She was in a car accident."
I felt my heart sink. I couldn't believe it was true. "Oh my GOD"....
She told me all about what happened, how the paparazzi were on their tail, how they took pictures after the car crashed and she was still alive; how her boyfriend was dead and so was the driver; how she died a few hours later at the hospital.
I was instantly stunned, and couldn't think of anything else after that. I ran back to the campground and broke the news. Everyone was shocked, and apologized to Steve for not believing him. I just sat by myself for a while thinking about it.
It's funny, she wasn't our princess, and yet she was. They have been calling her the "Princess for the People" and it was true. She was royalty in everyone's eyes, no matter what the British Parliament said. She was such a humanitarian, and so incredibly beautiful. And now she is gone.... and I will always remember-- just as those who were alive when John F. Kennedy was assassinated-- where I was when I heard she had died.
The news kind of marred the rest of the day; I couldn't get it out of my mind... but the day did continue, and we did have a lot of fun. It was so beautiful on Saturday, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and at night, the stars were so bright it seemed as if you could pick them right out of the sky. I sat and stared at them, wondering what really happens after we die. Where we go-- what we do. Yeah, deep, I know, but I guess I just think of those things when I realize just how insignificant we really are. It's humbling to think about that once in a while.
(September 1, 1997)
We got up early (even though we didn't want to) and broke camp. We then headed to Paul Bunyan's for breakfast. Paul Bunyan's is an old-fashioned Cook Shanty, just like the type of shanties you might have seen back in the early lumberjack days. You order your breakfast (everyone eats the same thing- eggs, sausage, pancakes, hash browns, donuts, juice, milk, and coffee) and they seat you. You eat on stainless steel plates and tin cups in a rustic setting. But the food is SO good. If you go for dinner they have fried chicken and potato pancakes that will make your mouth water for days. It's fun and tasty too :) We finished up and it was time to get home.
I returned the air mattress that I bought on the way up. When I opened it up on Saturday, we found out there was no air cap on it! I was rather peeved, so I ended up buying a floatation mattress (for pools) at the campground store. Not nearly as comfortable as the air mattress would have been, but at least I could sleep at night.
I grabbed a Milwaukee Journal at the Wal-Mart. On the headline was a picture of Prince Charles with Diana's sisters, and the soldiers marching Diana's body into the Castle. It was so sad, because it finally was physical evidence that it had truly happened. Up until then I hadn't seen a single news report, or heard anything except what my sister and parents told me.
When I got home I just wanted to crash! What a long weekend, but it was a lot of fun. I didn't eat even 1/2 of the food I brought, so I gave it to my parents. I'm sure they'll put it all to good use :)
(September 3, 1997)
I'm almost stressing out here, because all I can think about is the fact that I move in LESS than a month, and I haven't packed a THING yet. Every day that I've come home from work this week, I've turned on my computer and sat my ass down until I had to get to sleep. I don't know what my problem is, but I think I'm just overly addicted to online services. Between AOL, IRC, and now ICQ, I think I spend 85% of my life outside of work chatting on a computer. I sure hope that when I move to Chicago I can somehow curb that. It gets me into trouble sometimes- especially at work! It's not healthy to be online until 1:00 AM and have to get up at 7:00 AM.
Work is going well, I'm now making phone calls to clients who haven't paid yet. It's good for me to do that, because it gets me familiar with how things work pretty well. Tomorrow I am in training all day, we'll see how that goes. I imagine it won't be too bad. My RSM (Regional Sales Manager) is really cool- we get along great. :)
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You're going to think I'm crazy.
I think I'm in love.
No, I'm serious. I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. It's really weird. I might be nuts, but so what? It can't hurt to give things a chance.
OK OK you have no idea what I'm talking about... so I'll spill the beans.
A couple nights ago I was chatting on IRC like I always do. I sent a message including the web address for my home page, kind of doing some advertising for it. I got some messages saying "Hey it looks great", and "I can't believe you post that journal." Some typical responses I guess...
Then I got one that said "You're a real cutie- I got nosy and looked at your web site :-)"
Well I wasn't going to ignore that... so I started chatting with the guy.
As we went on it became apparent that he was pretty cool. He sent me his picture, and I gasped... oh my! He is CUTE!!!!!!!!!
He had seen my pics, so he knew what I looked like. He sent me a bunch of others. He has one of those video cam things that take snapshots... he must have taken a bunch when he first got it.
Well I was already in lust... he was soooo cute. I'll post his pic here if he lets me (I want to ask him first).
But here's the big deal. He's 33, which is older, yes, but so what... he ain't dead, that's for sure. He lives in Minneapolis, but he is heavily interviewing for jobs in Chicago, because he wants to move down there. So that's a good thing-- a VERY good thing! He also shares my love for 70's kitschy music... and who can't love that?? :)We gushed over each other for a while, and then I told him to call me. HE did this, and we talked for almost 3 hours.
When I hung up the phone, I was in love :)
Now mind you, when I say "In Love", I do NOT mean the type of "In Love" where you say "I Love You". Oh no. That phrase is only applicable when it is truly felt deep inside your soul and meant with every bone and pore in your body. When I tell someone "I Love You," it is REAL. I can't say it if I don't feel it. It would be a lie.
When I say "I'm in love" I mean I'm enamored... I'm interested... I'm intrigued... don't get the two confused ;).
Anyway so I'm in love and this guy is soooo cute and I am really really excited.
The next night we chatted again and I had found some new pictures of me to scan (check the new scans out here), so I scanned them in and sent them to Kenny. (that's his name!) He gushed and all that (I was so embarrassed, yet flattered) and he said he had a surprise. He sent me two more pics. This one was the first one. But THIS one was the one where my heart went
"Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat" "Pitter Pat"So we talked again for a short while, and we both went out in our respective cities.
We are thinking of meeting next week-- I'd drive up to Minneapolis. I figure what the heck, it's worth a shot-- after all I've never been to Minneapolis before. He is SO cute, not just in pictures, but in personality too. I'm definitely interested....
I'll keep you informed as to what happens. For now though, just keep your fingers crossed for me. Could he be the one? :)
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I'm starting to become a little worried.
I haven't heard from Kenny since I talked to him on Friday. We had talked on the phone just before I went out and he told me to call him when I get home if I want to. I got home at about 2:00am, and I did try to call him when I arrived. However, he did not answer. I figured that he was sleeping and didn't hear the phone ring, so I left a message.
I still hadn't heard from him on Saturday by the time I got home from work, so I gave him another call. Still no answer, and I left another message.
I still haven't heard from him today, and have called a few times. I left a message earlier today, and won't leave another... I'm worried because he hadn't mentioned that he was going to be gone this weekend at all. He could have, and I just forgot-- I do tend to forget things now and then.
I hope nothing has happened to him. I can't handle anything tragic or sudden right now. Granted, I didn't know Princess Diana at all personally, but all the sadness and mourning that's going on these days has gotten me a little depressed-- and tragedy seems to be a common factor lately. To have something happen in my life right now would probably not be a good thing.
I'm just going to have to be patient...
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I was wrong!!!!!! I didn't have anything to worry about. Kenny was alive and well and in Rochester with his friends. I got all worked up for nothing. :)
He sent me an E-mail on AOL letting me know he's alright and not to worry :)
He thought it was sweet that I was concerned about him. I was worried he'd think I was nuts!
Anyway things have been great, we've been talking a lot, and his chances for a job in Chicago are good, and getting better so far. He's had a couple bites from resumes, and both seem like they'd be good jobs. He likes one more than the other, and he's hoping he gets an interview with them. I am keeping my fingers crossed for him too :)
I'm still hopeful that things might "happen"... but I don't want to get my hopes up too high just to have them shot down. So I'm trying to keep a level head.
Anyway he's about to call me so I need to go!
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Funny... I've noticed as I've been making phone calls to clients and other people at Great America... there's something that people are saying that I've never thought of before... "Make it a great day" instead of "Have a great day"... I like that, because it puts the responsibility in someone's hands to MAKE their day a great one, instead of expecting the day to be great.
I guess I've noticed that a lot lately.. that I've been trying to make every day a good one. I used to wallow in self-pity a lot, letting my emotions get the best of me, but lately that hasn't been the case. I'm known as a pretty fun-loving guy now. You couldn't say that about me a few years ago... hehe.
Things at work are progressing. I started making appointments to meet people this week for next week. So next week I have to be in Chicago for at least three out of the five days of the week. I'm probably going to stay at Scott's place while he's gone so I don't have to drive thru rush hour traffic just to make my 8:30 appointments. I couldn't imagine doing that full time, driving from Kenosha every morning. I can't wait to move now :)
Kenny and I are still talking nightly... though now I'm heading into that "He's sick of me" stage where I fear that he doesn't want to talk to me... but then we talk and those fears go away. We decided it would be best not to have our first meeting in Minneapolis this weekend, because of the implied expectation that we'd have to go back to "his place" and all that... as he said it, "I'd hate to have you come all the way up here and we don't like each other; then you'll be stuck here with me." At least if he came to Chicago it would be on "Neutral ground" so that if for some reason we didn't like each other we wouldn't be expected to stay in the same bedroom or anything :) I told him I didn't think there was cause for that much concern, but I could understand his point, and that it was indeed best if we waited. He has a phone interview with one company next Tuesday, and he's hoping that they'll fly him out to Chicago sometime after that for a formal interview, at which time we could meet. I am crossing every appendage I have in hopes that it will happen!!!!!!! :)
Tonight, however, I am heading to the Chicago 'burbs for an AOL Party. I haven't been to one of those in over a year now. Funny thing is, I used to host them back in 1995. Go figure- a guy from Kenosha, WI planning parties for the Chicago community IN Chicago. I don't know how I got suckered into it, but I met a lot of great people by doing so. Now it's funny going back and seeing how they are-- and knowing that a lot of the things they do are directly because of the standard I set when I did them. We did things such as a date auction, a collection for AIDS Charities, and super sparkly fun nametags for everyone to wear. Now they advertise on the Net, in magazines, they do computerized name badges... and I think they still have fundraisers from time to time. But they still get over 100 guys every time. And that in my opinion is pretty cool ;).
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This week has been really busy!
I went over by my roommate Scott's' place after the AOL party and hung out with him and his boyfriend Brad. We got a key made for me to his place, because I was going to be staying there this week while I visited accounts in the city. We went shopping a bit, and saw a great show called "White Trash Wedding and a Funeral"- one of those offbeat theatre shows that are 100% vulgar, crude, rude and hilarious. It was a great time.
Monday I worked at Great America, then Monday night I headed down to Chicago for my three-night stay. This was pretty much going to be a 'test-drive' of sorts. I was pretty much going to be living alone for three days. I wasn't worried about it. It actually was a good idea for both Scott and I, because he'd be in Iowa all week, and the apartment would just be sitting empty anyway. I just didn't want to have to drive all the way from Kenosha every morning to make an 8:30 appointment. UGH!
Anyway the first day I was out with my Manager all day. We hit 5 accounts that day, and it went really well. It was a good thing, because it prepared me for the next day, when I was on my own.
Monday was really muggy and miserable, but Wednesday and Thursday were beautiful days.. clear, sunny, and warm. It made me happy to be outdoors in the fresh air most of the time.
I went out on Wednesday night, hoping to see some friends of mine out, but nobody was out. I tried to mingle, maybe meet some new people, but I just didn't feel comfortable being out on my own. So I headed back to the apartment and got on the computer. Well, Scott's computer is on the fritz BIG time. It takes 2 hours to boot up, then it takes another hour to start an application. Then when you use the application it freezes up any number of times while you're using it. It was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to use the computer for any reason at all. I was getting SO frustrated, because I had nothing else to do but sit there. I was pretty darned bored. So if I couldn't go out, and couldn't even get on the computer to chat, there just wasn't much for me to do.
So I finally shut the thing off and stopped using it. Man that was hard to do. I think I need to see someone about my online addiction. It seems like there's no way I can get away from it and if I'm FORCED to get away from it, I go nuts... what the heck is wrong with me???????
Anyway I left there on Thursday night. It was nice to get back into my own bed, my own room, my computer that WORKS... Ahhh. At least when I move, it won't be HOME-home, but it'll have my stuff!
Friday I had to work at Great America, but not doing my job. We have all been trained to operate at least one ride in the park, just in case they need us. Well they needed us on Friday. I and another one of the Sales Reps were trained at a simulator ride called "Space Shuttle America" the week before. We took our test for certification and passed, but we hadn't seen the ride but once; and we weren't very confident in running the thing. Gladly, we didn't have to operate controls, we only had to do the attendant job; but the girl on controls was the "PIC" or "Person In Charge". She used the acronym "PIC" often, so we figured she was enjoying her chance at power. She wasn't a supervisor or anything, just a regular hostess.
See, at Great America, there's Hosts and Hostesses, then there's Leads, then there's Supervisors, then there's Full-Time Supervisors and Managers. I'm a Full-Time employee; though not a Supervisor or Manager of any type. However, when it comes to a Hostess, any Full-Time employee is considered Management. This girl didn't seem to care-- she took her "PIC" status pretty seriously, and rubbed the two of us the wrong way, big time. Not to mention the fact that she didn't ever shut up!!!!!
Worst of all, it proceeded to absolutely POUR the entire day. And not just a nice rain shower-- NO! It thundered, it lighteninged, it got windy, it got so bad that all the rides in the park closed-- all but OURS! We were the only ride open for the majority of the day. It was brutal.
So by the time 4:30 rolled around and we were done, we wanted to just ZIP outta there. And we did!
My ankles hurt so badly I could barely even drive home. I had walked around Chicago for three days, then stood around in a ride for another day. If I could have cut my ankles off I would have been a happy guy.
Somehow I found the energy to begin packing. I don't know where it came from, but when the night was over, I had packed up about 8 boxes. If you looked at my bedroom though, you'd swear I hadn't done a thing. Everything I packed was in my closet, and between Videotapes, Audiotapes and pictures, I filled that many boxes. Frightening. I'm calling the moving van on Monday.
Today I took it easy. Watched TV, Worked on the computer (Yes, worked, not played) and just overall relaxed. Next week should be a repeat of this week, so I need all the rest I can get. Adios til later!
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Ever get the feeling you're wasting your time, but at the same time you're glad you did what you did in the end?
Sound fucked up? Well let me explain.
Kenny and I talked tonight. Now I know what you're thinking "Oh boy he turned out to be a psycho jerk from HELL"... well that's not true at all.
Kenny met someone in Minneapolis. Someone that he has liked for a long time, but has never had the chance or the courage to talk to him until now. And it turns out that this guy liked Kenny all along but he, too, felt the same way.
They hit it off and spent the weekend together. Kenny isn't sure where this will lead, and he still wants to move to Chicago, but he wasn't sure how to tell me about it.
I admit, I was hurt and disappointed. I did hope that things might happen with Kenny and I once we met; but therein lies the problem- we haven't met yet! How can I expect him to remain "faithful" to me, when he hasn't even met me yet? Kenny was concerned about my reaction to learning this news, and he wasn't sure how I would take it. I did tell him that I was sad and a bit disappointed, but told him that I can't expect him to not find someone just because someone he chats with on the computer likes him a lot. That's not a good enough basis for a relationship anyway. I think he was worried that I would stop talking to him completely because he may have found someone else.
I told him that was not true- I like him a lot, and was hopeful that maybe something might click once we met, but that I would absolutely like to be friends, no matter what, because I think he's a great guy and we have a great rapport in general. He sort of breathed a sigh of relief once he was convinced I was being 100% honest with him :)
And I was. I do like Kenny a lot, and I do think he's the most adorable guy... and I would certainly like things to work out between us, but realistically, how can I expect him to sit there and hope for the same thing when we haven't even met each other yet?
But here's the big kicker. He is coming into town this weekend and we are going to hang together... how odd will that be? I don't know yet. I am looking forward to it, just to meet him finally. But now I'm going to have to worry about stifling my feelings for him.
But then who knows. We may meet and find that we're really not as attracted to each other as we had originally thought, and that we would just be better off as friends. I know we're going to get along great, and that we will have a great time together, so regardless of my feelings, I will just enjoy his company and let things go at that.
But I am crying on the inside.... :'(
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Today was yet another chapter in the disappointing lovelife of Rick Aiello.
I got back to Kenosha around 10:00. I had a date of sorts at 6pm so I packed all my stuff into my car and met the guy at Roscoe's. We shot a couple games of pool (which is a joke, cause I suck so badly) and watched "Friends". We then got some dinner and after dinner he said "Well, I gotta go, goodnight." I was kind of taken aback... hardly even a handshake goodbye. How odd.
So I had a decent date but a crappy ending. Then I came home and saw Kenny on AOL. Hoo boy what a day crusher.
We chatted briefly, then I asked him about what was up for the weekend. He said he got an interview with Sprint and they're flying him in, but there was a catch.
Andy, the guy he's seeing, wants to go with.
I lost it. I just wanted to cry. I told him that if he came with Andy I wouldn't feel right about us meeting.
He said he wanted to explore things on his own. I didn't know quite what that meant, and wanted to ask him, but I got disconnected.
Worst part is, I couldn't get back on. I tried calling Kenny but I got his voice mail. And it rang a few times, so I knew he had signed off, and probably turned his ringer off. That just made me more angry.
I left him a message saying that I got kicked off and couldn't get back on. He probably thought I was mad at him.... Maybe he's wrong, maybe he's right...
So then I got on AOL using a direct phone number. I didn't see him on, so I wrote him a letter. This is how it goes:
Here's the deal
I got kicked off AOL just as I sent something... and I couldn't get back on.
So now you must think I'm pissed off at you.
Well maybe I am.
OK Kenny I admit it, I like you a lot. I think about you a lot. At least I used to. I felt a connection with you, and for some reason, even though we have never met, I felt that it was a good connection. And we talked a lot... almost every day since the first day we talked. I thought you felt the same way. Apparently I was wrong.
I would like to still remain friends, but right now I'm hurting. I've had nothing but disappointment in the relationship world, and what has just happened hasn't helped things at all. I'm sorry if this disappoints you, but it is true, and I'm not going to lie about it. I am heartbroken that you might consider bringing Andy with you. I was hoping that we could meet and get to know each other this weekend, and I had no intention of attaching any strings whatsoever.
However, if Andy is there, I don't feel we should meet. I don't think it would be right, and I would absolutely not feel comfortable.
You said something about exploring things alone... I didn't get a chance to ask you what you meant by that... did you mean you'd rather if Andy Wasn't there, or you would rather if neither Andy nor I were there?
I felt that you really and truly needed to understand how I feel. I wasn't lying to you the other night when I said that I think we could still be friends. I really do. It's just that all of the excitement I had about you coming in this weekend has been crushed... and now with the news that Andy might come with you makes me dread this weekend's arrival.
I don't know what else to say... and you probably want nothing to do with me. If you don't, I understand. I'm not psychotic... I'm just hurting.
I hope to hear from you again sometime... Please don't just ignore me forever... I couldn't deal with that.
Rick.
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My life seems to be winding into this big tailspin. Just when things couldn't get better, it just crashes and burns.
I'm about ready to write off Kenny for good. Today I got an E-mail from him. After all that I had to say to him in the E-mail above, here is his response:
Hey, Rick...
I'm just leaving for the airport... I know how you feel about Andy coming with me, but if you'd still want to meet, I'll be at Sidetracks at around 9:30/10:00.
Take care.
Kenny
How insensitive can he be? What would any of us gain from my meeting him and his new fucking love at Sidetrack.
I don't know what else I can do. Once again I'm the one left standing alone. Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always the one that gets hurt? What did I do to deserve this treatment?
Well enough of that, I have to go help my roommates move into the apartment. Maybe that will take my mind off of things. Maybe.
And maybe I will meet Kenny tonight, so I can tell him to his face how insensitive he is. Maybe.
And maybe I will meet some wonderful, loving, caring, compassionate, romantic, and sensitive guy that will sweep me off my feet and be my lover for life.
Yeah Right
Maybe.
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Alright I did it.
I met Kenny and his new boyfriend at Sidetrack.
I thought things through, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would be the better man if I just bit the bullet and met him anyway. After all, we did talk a lot and got to know each other pretty well. I can't let my sour emotions get in the way of something that could at least be a friendship. Am I too forgiving? Maybe so. Maybe I was irrational in my expectations of Kenny, as well.
But before that, I want to tell you about the first phase of moving. UGH what a chore. Scott and Chris's stuff had to be moved in yesterday because they are going to be gone all this next week. So they rented a van (and I mean a VAN) to move all their stuff.
When I arrived at Scott's his place was a disaster. He obviously hadn't packed anything... which didn't surprise me, seeing as how he's hardly there anymore. So we were taking things out one-by-one and loading them into the van. Then the van filled up, and we realized it was going to take a few trips just to get all of his big stuff out of there.
It took two trips to get Scott's stuff, and one trip to get Chris's. They started at about 2:00, I got there around 4, and everything was done at 1:30 in the morning. It was undoubtedly a long day.
At around 10:00 I took off to meet Kenny at Sidetrack. I saw him standing against a wall with a guy who I assumed was Andy. He was wearing a red shirt and jeans. He looked good. I still thought he was cute. Then I saw Andy. Well... I don't want to be mean, but I didn't get the attraction. He certainly wasn't my type. But he was skinny and in shape. I assumed Kenny was attracted to that (even though he once told me that that sort of thing didn't matter as much to him- whatever). Anyway I went up to Kenny and asked him "Are you Kenny?" he said, "Yes, are you Rick?" And of course I said yes.
We talked for a little bit and he introduced me to Andy. And it immediately got uncomfortable. Andy went to get a drink, and Kenny asked me if I was comfortable. I told him no, not really, but it's alright. I told him I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't at least try to meet him. I asked Kenny how things were going, and he said very well. I said "that's nice".
I stayed with them for about an hour, walking around the bar and talking. Andy was a nice guy. He didn't know that Kenny and I knew each other through AOL, so Kenny told him that. He didn't seem to mind. But as the night went on, I noticed Kenny touching and grabbing Andy now and then, and it not only made me uncomfortable, but it also made me sort of upset. I looked away every time he did it, and the second I looked back he wasn't doing it anymore.
Andy stepped away again at one point and Kenny again asked me if I was alright. I told him again that I was fine, but I thought I should be going soon. I didn't want to interfere. I don't know how he took that, but it didn't matter. I was ready to leave- I had seen enough. Kenny was happy with Andy and I was fine with that. But now he's starting to reconsider moving to Chicago, and I once again told him he had to do what is best for him.
So I said I had to leave, and I shook hands with Kenny and Andy and walked away, feeling rather empty inside. I didn't know quite what to feel. But I knew I was glad I met him. It was almost like some sort of closure. I'm sad, but I'm better for it. And now I can just move on.
I thought I was going to be out for only an hour or so, but after I left Kenny, I went across the street to Roscoe's to see if anyone I knew was there. I found my good friends David and David. (Have I explained the fact that I know a lot of Davids?) They were in the pool table room socializing of course. So I stayed with them a while and worked the bar a bit.
We made our way toward the front, and David (I'll classify him as David R.; he lives in Racine, I have known him for almost 4 1/2 years) tell Dave (Who I'll classify as Dr. Dave, which is what he is, and what everyone calls him) to check out this cute guy on the other side of the bar, and we should move closer. So we did, standing pretty much right next to him. I started to check him out myself, when I realized that I knew who he was!
On Thursday, while I was in Chicago for work, I took my lunch break at a Bennigan's on Michigan Avenue. I said to myself, "Gee I hope I get a cute waiter!" on the way inside. Well, I got my wish! He was so cute... his name was Jeff, looked to be in his 20's or so. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, but of course I never said anything. I thought he could be gay- he had the look, earrings, and-- well you know, you can just TELL these things. Anyway, it looked to me like it was a rough day for Jeff, so when I paid my bill, I included some Fright Fest coupons (about 7) and my business card. What the heck, right? :)
Well I was sure it was Jeff at Roscoes that night, but I didn't want to say anything right away. He ended up walking away, so we forgot about him.
Later in the night, I saw him again, and I figured it couldn't hurt asking him. So Dave and Dave left the bar and me alone with Jeff. I approached him and asked him if he was Jeff who works at Bennigan's on Michigan Ave. He said he was, and when I told him that I was the one that left him the coupons, he immediately remembered. I was honored ;). We talked for about 30 minutes, then he left to use the bathroom. When he returned, he chatted with his roommate for a bit, then said "bye, nice meeting you" and that was it. Oh well.
So, the night wasn't a complete bust... but it was anyway.
I left the bar and tried to find where the guys were in moving, but by the time I reached Scott, he said they had just finished moving all of Chris's stuff. So they were about to turn in for the night.
So I said goodnight, and headed home.
Next weekend's my weekend. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to it.
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Wow... just as quickly as things change, they change again.
I found Kenny online and he told me he's not moving to Chicago. In fact, he didn't even go to the interview. I was shocked when I heard this, so I asked him why that happened.
Seems Andy and Kenny are through already. Andy got drunk at Sidetrack on Sunday night, and started hitting on other guys. Apparently it wasn't a pretty thing. Kenny says he just must have lost interest and quickly.
Oh well... what can I say? I told him I was sorry, but I'm not sure I meant it. He just didn't say too much... maybe later I'll tell him what I'm really feeling, but for now I'll just keep quiet.
I spoke to my good (best) friend, Mark, tonight on the phone. He's getting married on the day after my birthday, and I'm in the wedding. I haven't talked to him in a while, so I figured I'd give him a call and see how he's doing. It was great to talk to an old friend who has no connection to anything else going on in my life. It was actually quite refreshing.
Mark lives in Washington (the State) now... he's a Medical Student, and he's currently in his residency at a hospital near Seattle. We try to keep in touch via E-mail, but it just isn't good enough when you want someone to actually talk to. We talked for nearly 2 hours, and it was nice. Things are going well for him, and I updated him on how things were going with me. It's so nice to have someone that whenever you call, it's just like you talked to him yesterday. All the old, familiar things come back and are just as funny or interesting as before. It's nice to know you have people like that in your life.
Maybe that's what I need more of. Friends that I can count on through thick and think, right and wrong, and all that. Friends that I can call on a whim, if I just need someone to talk to. I have lots of friends in name... but they're not really the type of friends that I can just call and talk to whenever I feel like it. Maybe I can work on getting to know the friends I have better. It can't be that hard to do. The only reason they don't know me as well is because I've always lived so far away. Now there'll be no excuse.
Only time can tell. Once I get myself settled, I'll have to put a plan into action and see how it goes. Til then, I will just have to rely on those I have to get by. And I'm sure I'll do just fine.
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