January, 1998 Updated, November 22, 2005
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Jan. 8 Jan. 12 Jan. 20 Jan. 25
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Happy New Year everyone!
Sorry I haven't written in a long time. I have been under a lot of stress lately... not to say that things haven't been eventful, but really it has been so long that it seems almost senseless to try and catch up.
To put it simply, things have been very much the same. I haven't been seeing anyone, I have gone out a few times here and there, nothing spectacular. I was off work for a couple weeks around Christmas time. That was nice, it gave me a chance to relax before the Holidays really hit.
I didn't like the Holidays too much this year. Too much stress and not enough time or money to enjoy them. I ended up buying gifts for everyone on Christmas Eve and the day before. Now that was stress!!!
My best friend Mark got married around the time of my birthday (yes, I turned 27 on Dec. 12 of 1997) and my sister and I traveled to Kentucky for it. It was a nice weekend... certainly a different way to spend my birthday!
I sorta decided for a while that I wasn't going to continue the journal anymore. Yet the more I think about it, the more I need this place to sort out my feelings about things and work out my frustrations. Hopefully someone will care enough to lend a helping hand when I need it. I dunno, we'll see how it goes. Next time though, if I pull it, I'll do some type of advance warning.
Lately.. things have been very... BLAH. I have been in a BLAH mood all week. Boring, yes, I certainly know. But I guess that's what happens when nothing exciting is happening in your life. I've been single for, yes, it's true, 3 years, and if I think about it, it makes me BLAH. If I don't think about it, I enjoy life more. So... I don't think about it!
But lately I have been... and as each holiday approaches, I think about it more. Mainly because the last boyfriend I had broke up with me just before New Years Eve. I have never had a boyfriend around New Year's Eve. I guess that just goes to show how lucky I've been. :/
Anyway I am heading out tonight to Roscoes. I didn't go out last weekend, for a number of reasons. Mainly of course, FINANCIAL! It was not a pretty thing money wise last week. :P
Talk to you all later... hope all is well with you... if anyone's even reading this ;-)
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I've had a lot of stress lately.
This Tuesday I leave for San Diego. I'm going with everyone from work for a weeklong seminar. This should be a fun, fairly cool weekend... however, for some reason I'm more stressed out about it than anything.
It just seems like everyone's making grand plans, and I'm left out in the cold. I feel like I don't know what the hell's going on. It's a very strange situation.
We're flying in late on Tuesday, and we were originally going to crash in some people's rooms at the hotel where the seminar is being held. However, that plan fell through, and now we are all getting rooms at a nearby Super 8. The rest of the week we'll be in a Marriott hotel in San Diego.
All this is just fine. The problem I have is that so much of this just happened without my knowing. Everyone else has done this before. This conference is a yearly thing that everyone goes to. So they all had plans before the plane tickets were even ordered. I, however, being new, wasn't really sure what the heck was going on, and people were making plans but I had no idea what was going on. My major fear was that I would end up flying out all by myself and lost in San Diego.
Happily, though, that won't happen. But it seemed that every time I had a question about all this, people would act like they were frustrated with me. I don't know why I felt like that, but I hope that everything goes well.
In other news...
A couple weeks ago I met a guy at Fusion and we hit it off well... well, ok we went back to his place. What can I say, I am human ;-) Anyway, we really did hit it off well, and ended up spending most of the morning and afternoon together. We agreed that we would get together again. And We kept in touch. He went to Spain for the New Year, and we decided that when he got back we would go out for dinner or something. Well guess what. We were supposed to get together today, and of course, he called and cancelled. He said that we could probably do something during the week sometime, but guess what? I'll be gone all week. *Sigh* Another one bites the dust.
Thing is, this is a guy that I've seen out a few times and have always had my eye on him. He's really attractive, great smile, nice build... pretty much what I'd say is my type of guy. And we REALLY were a good pair. (read into that what you want). So why is it that I'm always feeling like I'm getting left out in the cold? Well anyway, I am not going to expect too much. It's just another disappointing chapter.
Yesterday my friend Dave and I celebrated our fourth year of friendship with dinner, then a trip to Kenosha's new gay bar, The Filling Station. Dave is the one that lives in Racine, WI so I drove up to spend a weekend in Cheeseland. :-) After a couple drinks and some halfway decent games of darts, we headed up to Milwaukee to visit LaCage. It was an interesting evening. The place was filled with some odd characters. The cute ones were all queeny bitches. The rest of them were either trailer trash or just overall icky. Undoubtedly, Chicago men are prettier to look at ;-) (I'm sure I'll get a good amount of ribbing for that one)
THE PACKERS WON TODAY! Whoo-hoo! They're going to the Super Bowl again. I can't believe it! Ten years ago, you may as well have said the Cubs had won the World Series twice in a row. (Yeah we wish that were true). But it was a great game and I'm so happy ;-) I sure hope they win again. Against the Broncos? Ha. no problem! Hehe
Well I believe that's it. It's 10 after 2am and I really should get my butt to bed. I have to drive to Gurnee in the morning- not something I always enjoy doing. :-/
If I don't write again before I leave, have a great week everyone... I have got some E-mail stating that there are actually readers out there... please! Let me know you are reading! And if you have any suggestions or comments, they are all welcome.
Thanks all... later.
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NEW FEATURE: Watching Frasier the other day, I noticed how much I liked the way each episode is sort of divided by short little titles that introduce each portion of the episode. Thinking it was clever (and thereby thinking that I, too, was clever) I decided to try it on my journal. What do you think? "Leavin' On A Jet Plane"
It's so nice to be back home...
...and then it's not. San Diego was BEAUTIFUL! It was sunny and warm almost every day we were out there. The lowest the temperature got was 55 degrees. It was only 5 degrees when I left Chicago, and I had to walk five blocks to get to the EL station to take me to the airport! Not fun, let me tell you!!!
But once I got to the station, my face never felt the cold air again until I arrived back at O'Hare Airport on Sunday. What a week. I learned a LOT, met some great people from all over the country, and basically had a blast. If any of you out there are from San Diego, I have to tell you, you have a very beautiful city.
I'll definitely go back. The Gaslamp district is INCREDIBLE and the city itself is beautiful, clean and warm. The people are also very nice. I was definitely impressed. It's California's best-kept secret, and I'm surprised more people don't realize what a great city it is.
So anyway, I had a great time, and now I'm at home, doing TONS of laundry. I just threw in the last batch of color clothes... and after that I'm finally done! ;-) Hallelujah. I hate doing laundry.
I forgot to mention the plane ride back from California. But first, to show a contrast between the two flights, the flight TO San Diego was wonderful. The plane was almost completely empty. Each person could have sat in a row all by themselves and there still would have been completely empty rows. It was awesome. and SO relaxing. I had a row to myself, and I sat in the middle seat and just stretched out, pulling out all the table trays and putting my drink on one, my snack on theother, and my CD Walkman on the other. It was just like First Class!!!
HOWEVER... on the way home.. it was a completely different story. The flight was jam-packed. The plane was a 737 (the flight to San Diego was on a 757), which is the smallest plane there is, I believe. Every seat was taken, and, as much as I don't want to be cruel about it, there were some rather large people occupying those seats. Anyway, the plane was loaded, and they made an announcement saying that the plane was overbooked or something and they had to ask for some people to give up their seats for $200 airfare credit. Some did, so we thought that was the end of it. However, it wasn't. Apparently the real reason they did that was to hopefully get some of the extra weight off the plane. Not only were the people big, but the baggage carried was overwhelming. There wasn't enough room in the overhead storage areas, and I guess the baggage compartment was tight. So everyone brought too much luggage as well. So about mid-way through the flight, the pilot announced that the weather at O'Hare was going to be very overcast and that because of the weight of the plane before takeoff, they only had enough fuel to fly the plane to O'Hare in clear weather. Now they had to land at Kansas City and refuel. OH GREAT I thought, another landing and takeoff. I was fit to be tied. Not to mention claustrophobic as well!
We were only there for 45 minutes and the plane took off again for Chicago. We got to Chicago almost exactly an hour late, and thank goodness Scott was still there to pick me up.
My, I tell disjointed stories! I guess that's just me, though.
"Recent Discoveries"
I just discovered a great time saver that I'm going to fall in LOVE with. I'm sure some of you may have used this before, but if not, you simply MUST discover www.peapod.com
Something else I've discovered, and this is a bit more serious I guess... Sometimes I feel like I'm in a tailspin. Like things are falling away from me so fast that I have no way of catching up to them. Money, Personal issues, family relations, job, friends, you name it. Since I've moved, I've found a lot more time to kind of catch up with myself, and get to know myself a little bit better. That's been good. However, since I've moved, I've spent less time trying to actually improve things about myself and more time wasting time. It's an endless, vicious cycle that never seems to end. My bills are falling so incredibly behind and I can't figure out where the money is going. My rent gets paid, but that's about it! Where is the rest of it going? Why can't I be in control of everything, like I see so many others doing. Why can't I get my shit together and get things right?
Why can't I just win the lottery?
"Two Ships Pass In The Night"
I always liked that theory...that if two people were meant to be but they just missed each other by a hair, just by some unforeseen circumstance, they were like two ships passing in the night. A very romantic phrase with pretty deep romantic meanings if you think about it. Have you ever seen the commercial for Levi's, I think it is? One of those "Nice pants" commercials, where the guy is on the El, or the Subway if you're in New York, and across the train he sees a beautiful lady. And in the background a song starts to play "I wasn't looking for love... in just a glance, it happened... love came looking for..." and someone shouts "GET OUTTA MY WAY" and the man gets shoved out the door of the train, missing the chance with the love of his life.
Of course, the commercial gets silly after that, when she mouths the words "Nice pants" instead of "I love you" when they stare at each other as she rides away... but the point here is, in my life, I have had so many near-misses like that. Chances that turned into nothing but a chance that got away because of some overpowering circumstance that neither he nor I could control. But... I feel like my luck will change soon. I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming sense of hope lately... and I'm hoping (of course) that my luck changes soon! So keep your fingers crossed for me ;-)
I have a date on Friday with the Fusion guy. Wish me luck ;-)
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"Calgon, Take Me Away!"
If I could have had a chance to get swept away to some deserted island with no cares or worries, this would have been the perfect weekend to have that happen.
It started out great. I had a great week of work, good sales, good leads, good contacts... I couldn't ask for a better week actually (well yes I could, I could have actually made more calls)... and by Friday, I was ready to have a great weekend.
My date with the Fusion guy (his name is Joe) went great. We had a great dinner, came back to his place, cuddled on the couch while watching TV and had an overall great evening. I spent the night. ;-) Anyway I parked my car on the street outside his apartment. When I parked, I saw a sign that said it was a snow route. It then had a second part to the sign that said "No Parking 3am - 7am Dec. 1 - Apr. 1".
Now I thought that meant that you couldn't park there only if there was snow on the ground at those times.. but guess what, I was wrong. That means ANY TIME during those times. When I went out the next day to get my car and go home... it was gone.
I went back to Joe's place to call the city to see where my car was... I found out that it would cost me $115 to get my car back... I almost cried. Joe had to take me back home, where I frantically started to make phone calls. I found out where the place was and my roommate drove me over. There I was informed that, because it is a company car, I had to get a letter, on company letterhead, stating that I am the person responsible for that car and they can release it to me. Worse yet, this letter had to be NOTARIZED before it was faxed.
NOW I was fit to be tied... I had no idea who would do that to begin with... the Park was closed, nobody was there, except Human resources. I first tried calling my managers, none of which were home. So I tried Human Resources, and got the Manager. He took down all the information I needed in the letter and he told me he'd do it, but he couldn't get it notarized until tomorrow. I was worried it would cost me more to get it tomorrow, so I called the pound again, and they said it would only be $10 more... so I said, Fine, I can wait one more day.
Can you say "CABIN FEVER"? Granted, there isn't much I was going to do anyway, but just the knowledge that my car was sitting in a lot somewhere and I couldn't get it back without paying an exorbitant amount of money was driving me nuts. Plus the fact that I was supposed to go home on Sunday for the Super Bowl to watch it with my dad... that didn't help things much. :/ I could have used the EL or cabs, but instead I chose to sulk in my own stupidity ;-)
Luckily my friend Dave R. rescued me and took me out to boyztown.. and we drank my troubles away... I was feeling much better by the end of the night ;-)
Today, hangover averted by the grace of Tylenol (ALWAYS Take two Tylenol before bed after a night of drinking to avoid a nasty hangover the next day) I awoke and immediately called the pound to see if the letter had been faxed. It hadn't. I called work to see if the letter had been typed or notarized. Nobody knew what I was talking about. I was about to go hysterical by then. I was hoping to pick up the car and go up to Wisconsin for the game today, but nothing was ready yet. I told the people at the office today what needed to be done. They said they'd contact the Manager and get the instructions from him- he might have done it already.
That was at around 12:00. By 4pm I finally got a phone call saying it had been faxed. But by that time, everyone was gone to Super Bowl parties, and I had no way of getting to the pound to pick up my car. So I sat and watched the game (Next subject) and waited for Chris to get home. He took me to get it, and $125 and a stop at the gas station to scrape their numbers off my windows later, I had my car again.
And that is the story of my nightmarish weekend, courtesy of an ugly black Chevy Corsica that I can not WAIT to get rid of. I swear the car is jinxed. I've been coming down to Chicago for the last four or five years fairly regularly, and never have I had more parking tickets and NEVER have I been towed. It seems as if when I got this car, I dropped my common sense out the window. Anyway, I just believe it's jinxed and I hate it and the sooner I get rid of it, the better.
"There Is No Joy In Titletown"
The mighty Packers lost. I can't believe it. I had such hope for a repeat. Their season went so well. They were so good... *sigh* I guess it just wasn't in the cards. It really was a great game, don't get me wrong.. but they played like fools and lost it. I guess though that it was meant to be... the Broncos had never won... John Elway was about to retire and had never won a Super Bowl... it was meant to be for them. And, I think, the Packer Fans (a/k/a Cheeseheads) needed to be brought back to Earth a bit... I mean, weren't they getting just a wee bit out of hand? :-)
"Bitter Party, Table of One... Bitter Party, Table of One"
Don't you just love that quote- from Veronica's Closet, this week's episode... I love that show. ;-) Must be written by a gay man. I wouldn't doubt it. That was my quote of the week. Enjoy... til next time.
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